Wiped.

I deserve a freakin medal. I have completed 10 days of this torture. Today was my 10th colonic. I have not missed an appointment or treatment and somehow have managed to not drive home and quit. Came pretty close a couple times. 

Snapped this selfie after my colonic and infrared treatment today. For some reason, I couldn't look at myself in the mirror AT ALL these past 10 days. It's been a nightmare and I was probably scared to see the horror on my face. It's hard to see your own face when it's twisted by physical and emotional agony. 

This afternoon I dared to look and was amused and scared by how rough and utterly beaten up I look.

I just want to be able to sleeeeeeeep. I feel irritable and angry. I can't sleep because of nerve pain all over my body. 

I heard this song on the radio while I was "baking" on the infrared heat table and it made me cry:

If it all just happened overnight
You wouldn't know how much it means
If it all just happened overnight
You would never learn to believe in what you cannot see
Oh, what you cannot see. 

Take it a day, a day at a time
One foot in front of the other
Take it a day, a day at a time
No need to hurry, hurry
Take it a day, a day at a time
It won't happen overnight

Have a little faith
Must appreciate
Every single day
Don't give up.

Doing my best to have a little faith and simply not give up.