Good and Bad

It has been ROUGH. I have been sicker than a dog. The clinic director finally admitted that this is not normal. She just kept telling me, "Your adrenals are shot. That's why you're so sick." Now they are saying I am detoxing so fast, they are worried about the detox process being detrimental to my body. This clinic prides itself on detoxing people with minimal discomfort but for some reason, for me, it has been hell. Things have gotten so bad, the clinic director AND founder met with me. This is a big deal because the founder no longer treats the clinic's patients because she handed everything over to the director so she could focus on writing and ministry work. 

Through all the pain and violent dry heaving, a lot of good has come. I am trying to focus on all I have to be grateful for as inspired by this video: http://www.upworthy.com/scientists-discover-one-of-the-greatest-contributing-factors-to-happiness-youll-thank-me

Gratitude is life changing. 

I am so grateful I went 6 days without a headache in years. I am so grateful to my in-laws for taking care of our "Hurricane Huck". I am so grateful to Grandma Lee for mailing me a heavy juicer. I am so grateful for my roomies who took me, a stranger, in and my little dog. I am so grateful to my bro and sis-in-law for driving me everywhere and helping me get settled and for sitting with me at 3am when I was terrified and hallucinating. I am so grateful for my cousin for driving me to the clinic and taking me grocery shopping. I am so grateful to my aunt and uncle who took me in when I was horribly sick and scared to be alone and for driving me to the dentist in rush hour traffic.  I am so grateful to my mom and dad for taking time off to come and take care of me. I am so grateful to my friends and fam whom I miss terribly for the calls, texts, cards and reminding me of what is true and to never give up. 

I am so grateful to my generous sis-in-law who gave Tyler all her freq flier miles so he can come take care of me. 

I am overwhelmed by the support and love. 

I am so grateful for my Superman hubby who mailed me flowers to make me feel more like I am at home. He has been my biggest support and cheerleader. When I wanted to quit, I kept going because I want to get healthy for him. 

This song came on the radio today and made me think of him:

Aren't you something to admire, 'cause your shine is something like a mirror
But I can't help but notice, you reflect in this heart of mine
If you ever feel alone and the glare makes me hard to find
Just know that I'm always parallel on the other side

'Cause with your hand in my hand and a pocket full of soul
I can tell you there's no place we couldn't go
Just put your hand on the glass, I'm here trying to pull you through
You just gotta be strong

Yesterday is history
Tomorrow's a mystery
I can see you looking back at me
Keep your eyes on me
Baby, keep your eyes on me

Now you're the inspiration for this precious song

And I just wanna see your face light up since you put me on

So now I say goodbye to the old me, it's already gone

And I can't wait wait wait wait wait to get you home

Just to let you know, you are

You are you are the love of my life <3